haunted by these words

"Before this he had met life with a welcome - it had its trials, but none that a man could not face. But now, in the nighttime, when he lay tossing about, there would come stalking into his chamber a grisly phantom, the sight of which made his flesh curl and his hair to bristle up. It was like seeing the world fall away from underneath his feet; like plunging down into a bottomless abyss, into yawning caverns of despair. It might be true, then, after all, what others had told him about life, that the best powers of a man might not be equal to it!" -- Upton Sinclair, The Jungle

After sitting at the keyboard for a few minutes I've decided I can't explain yet all the things this book is making me think and feel. Maybe some other day, but for now I'll just leave you with that passage while I try to go to sleep.