Monday, January 7, 2008

the Return of the Fear; or, run AWAY from the ball

A few weeks ago we had an absolutely ferocious game of soccer. Justin got hurt, Kyle got hurt, I stayed on the sidelines for at least half the game because I just couldn't take it out there. I thought it was because we had some particularly talented, fast, and powerful players out there but after last night's game I realized it's just that I am afraid.

Three months after spraining my ankle, it still aches most days, and I haven't put my Ace bandage away yet. Apparently I haven't recovered emotionally yet either. I didn't think it had affected me so much, but I used to be a lot more aggressive on the field. I was notorious for getting hit in the face with the ball and that only happened so much because I was always three feet away from someone taking a shot, standing in between them and the goal. Last night I guarded people as well as I could but if I thought I'd get hit or run over, I shied away. It was not a fun way to play! About fifteen minutes after we started, I didn't really want to be there at all.

I toughed it out because I knew that I love playing soccer. I was NOT experiencing that love, but I knew if I stopped in the middle of last night's game, that would really mean I wasn't going to play soccer anymore, and I didn't want to lose that. So I kept playing, although I had my eyes on the clock more than on the ball. At the end of the game I was actually surprised that I'd been able to tough it out for as long as I did. One minute at a time, I guess.

We'll see how I do next week.


Miss Emily said...

Oh Sheila....don't get hurt just to prove you can play soccer and be tough. And you need to take care of your ayou keep playing on it, or running onnkle before it gets worse, because if it too much, you'll damage it more. But if playing soccer really means that much to you, go ahead. But maybe your zealousness confuses me. I never quite understood why you forced yourself to play. But seriously, you're totally justified in being afraid and I hope people stop being so aggressive. Don't let me bring you down if you really do want to suck it up and play, I'm just offering a different opinion. I'm only worried about you and being happy.

Marge said...

About the ankle, how about talking to Fr. Mike? Seems like he went through something similar, and got some good advice.

Emily said...

I keep forgetting about soccer once Sunday night rolls around. Next time, will someone call and remind me? I miss playing, and NEED to get back in shape.

What time are you playing these days?